Heads, Shoulders, Knees and.... BANG!

I have just returned from my first ever school residential trip. After dozens of similar experiences in Scouting, this was unusual as it involved 31 little people I know in a more formal way from 8.50 to 3.25 every day. So in many ways, I have a deeper relationship with them, knowing them as learners and spending most of my time with them.

My class are a wonderfully behaved class, and there were no problems. There were, however, some highly amusing moments. We had two P.E. student teachers assisting us with the trip, and the moment one of them received a cross in the area in Thursday's pre-breakfast early morning game of footie, only to slip and fall on their buttocks was darn funny. He was a Spurs fan so it was doubly so.

The children undertook raft building from materials including planks of wood, rope and large empty plastic water containers. I oversaw two different groups doing it, and out of the 4 rafts built, one actually managed to stay together. The first session's two rafts though collapsed upon impact with the water, leaving the captains of such unseaworthy vessel to complete the relay race by swimming and dragging 9 large barrels through the pool.

Unfortunately, the school's photo policy forbids me uploading any school photos on the web, so you'll have to use your imagination.

Low ropes was widely agreed to be one of the most fun activities, with the 'squeeze check' (a safety procedure to check Karibenas were locked properly) providing a few giggles from staff. The first session was hampered by a brief and bizarre burst of soft hail that arrived without the usual noise, but was sufficient to make the equipment mildly more hazardous and meant the zip wire couldn't be used. Fortunately, I returned to this activity with another group the following evening and despite the dark, it was even more fun, and I got to ride the zip wire.

Twice.

Confessional time - I have given up chocolate for Lent but alas I succumed on three occasions - chocolate flapjack, pain au chocolat and a massive great big chocolate cake a Teaching Assistant made which was brought up as a 'treat' by the headteacher. I'm back on track now though and haven't touched chocolate since the breakfast pain au chocolat on Friday morning. Yum.

The highlight of my trip, however, was my debut at the wonderful sport of skiing. The fact that a few of my class admitted to having done "6 or 7" week long skiing trips in their 10 short years on this earth gives you some idea of the affluence of my charges' families. Anyway, the first session on Thursday was ok, the instructor was very attractive, and I think this managed to get me through the pain of large ski boots squeezing all the life out of my poor unsuspecting feet. The first session was with a bunch of beginners like myself, and we laboriously walked sideways up a hill to amble gently down, and in some cases crash spectacularly.

One child actually managed to jump out of his skis when attempting his first 'jump'. He jumped forward not straight up, and flew head first towards the cactus-like surface. He bounced though, and was laughing, so that was ok.

Another child, when attempting to sing 'heads shoulders knees and toes' on his descent showed his anatomical knowledge to be sadly lacking, and did it all in the wrong order, leading to a succession of jokes about getting the body parts in the wrong order, led by me of course. When child pointed to their backside and said 'mouth', I couldn't stop the words "Really? No wonder your breath smells so bad!" slipping out, and I instantly regretted it as one of my brighter charges fell about laughing, and then proceeded to explain to everyone what I had said. Oh dear.

On the subject of backsides, one of my girls referred to it as her 'derrierre' (sic) which I found very funny, and when another child asked what on earth she was talking about, she said (in the plummiest voice you can imagine x 3000) 'My bottom'. I was in stitches.

And finally, the moment I share with you my biggest embarrassment of the trip. Well, during my second skiing lesson, with a much more able group, I decided to ski down from a short distance up, but could not prevent a decidedly left bias to my directional movement. No matter what I did, I could not alter my course which ended with a rather spectacular collision with the session instructor, knocking her clean off her skis.

I kid you not. See you at Easter!