Poems

I have recently started to gather ideas for some prose poems and intend to start writing them soon. In the meantime, here are a couple from a few years back. One hopefully more amusing, and one more serious.

A visit to the Library

I visited the Library the other day,

The smart newly built Library in town.

Magnificent building all made of glass,

But inside the shelves look tatty;

Like they're temporary; waiting for new shelves,

But I don't think they are.

There are computers everywhere.

Some to work on,

Some to tell you stuff like how many books you have,

When to bring them back,

And in my case, how much your fines come to.

Sometimes they let you off the fines.

If no-one else is waiting for the book

Or it doesn't come to very much.

Last year I forgot a book

Left it under my bed

And I got a whopper of a fine.

Won't do that again.

I find the computer that helps me find the book I want.

It isn't very helpful.

Ah... Three Copies in.

None reserved.

Excellent.

Go to shelf ... nowhere in sight.

All the books are out of order, so I end up checking every one.

Twice.

Surely there's no way that three people took the same book out in the time it took me to get from the computer to the shelf?

Hmmm.

Another visit to the computer

And I notice a 'more info' button

Which tells me exactly where the three books have got to.

One is out?

But, none reserved!

Oh reserved. Silly me.

So some one has it, but no one is waiting for it.

Ok.

And the other two?

Miles away in other Libraries the other side of town.

What's the point in telling me what other Libraries have?

I want to know what I can get here.

One of the Libraries isn't too far,

And I can get there on one bus,

So I decide to go.

First of all, I need to take out 2 other books I have.

You don't need to speak to anyone,

It's amazing.

No wonder people don't talk to each other nowadays.

All computers fault.

I put my books neatly together

On the shelf in front of the screen

And swipe my card.

This is where the fun begins.

Forwards,

Backwards,

Upside down forwards,

Upside down backwards.

S l o w l y

Quickly

I must look a right idiot,

I'm glad there's no one behind me.

They'd be tapping their feet,

Making impatient noises by now.

After the computer gives up on me twice

Because it thinks there is no one there

It works.

Suddenly.

And the full details of the books

Appear on the screen.

Magic.

Can someone please explain how they do that?

" Errr magnets and lasers and stuff..."

One of my friends explained vaguely

When I expressed this amazement to them.

I get on the bus and go to the other Library.

Despite being refurbished

This Library still has that proper Library smell

Like old schools

Where Stern divorced female teachers in their fifties

With a chip on their shoulder

(Probably about 'Men'?)

Look over their glasses and

Bark at children all day long.

I find the book

Eventually.

Here they have better card scanners

Like in shops

Where you pass the card underneath.

One second

Beep

Done

They should get those at the other Library

An interruption


I had it all planned out
What I was going to do with my afternoon.
Asked if I could do a favour
I said yes
Begrudgingly.
"Ok...
As long as it doesn't take too long.
I have all this stuff to do, after all.
Let's go now
So I can get back quickly."

Just as
We're about to leave
The phone rings.

Grrrrrr
Why does the phone
Always
Ring
At moments like this?


Five minutes later,
I hear the phonecall end.


Friend of the family lost her baby 8 months along.

Why does the world

Stand


Still

At moments like this?

Board or Screen?

It has come to my attention that a lot of my recent posts have had a financial theme, so I will postpone one thought in my head until a future day and talk about something else instead.

For many years, I have enjoyed playing games. It started in my childhood (obviously) with games like Perfection, Twister (my Dad's friend showing me the rude noise the box made as you closed it is a fond memory) and Ker-Plunk. I graduated as I got older to be a very competitive Monopoly player (competitive as in I wanted to win, not that I often did). As a family, weplayed certain games a lot. Yahtzee was one such game, which we played until several scorepads had been expired. Yahtzee was quick to set up and quick to play, and also highly addictive.

Card games were popular, especially Rummy and Canasta (Rummy on speed). A few years ago, a German friend of ours taught us 'Golf', which we have gone on to teach every foreign student since, and it must be all over Switzerland by now).

In recent years, the universal joy of UNO has dominated the horizon, amongst many of my friends it is wonderfully enjoyed and I have spent several nights until the small hours cursing the silent 7 rule and arguing whether +4s can go on +2s.

It strikes me as interesting that the games most often played now are those which are quick to set up and play in a few minutes - a sign of the times perhaps? Ker-plunk, with its fiddly stick insertion antics is gathering dust somewhere in the loft...

Anyway, recently, I have discovered a new joy. My Ipod Touch has numerous 'apps' to download, and most of the time I download...games. So when I have no friends to play with, I can play.... UNO, Yahtzee, Backgammon, Pass the Pigs, Mastermind, Othello, Air Hockey, Worms etc by myself.

In my recent Summer Holiday, I have had much more time on my hands than usual, and many tedious bus journeys have been greatly improved by destroying a CPU opponent at one of the afformentioned games.

One of the great attractions I have come to realise is that with a screen based version, there is so little effort involved. I don't have to set up, deal out cards, open a box, and when the game is finished, another is instantly set up for me. This awakes a naural laziness in me that frankly doesn't need any encouragement.

It slightly disturbs me though that what used to be a shared social interaction can now be a solitary occupation. Yes, the techies will argue that 'peer to peer' games allow people to play against each other, but having played Backgammon in this way, I would argue that it doesn't completely.

Again, a sign of the times perhaps, but I hope we (and I) don't abandon completely the social interaction that can be enjoyed playing board games with fellow human beings.

Toy Story 3

Just a quick mini-post before the main feature. Ironically, a bit like the film which is the topic of this post, which has a mini short film before the main film, but anway, I went to see Toy Story 3 last night.

I went because I have enjoyed the first two films (though curiously, they have never been DVD purchases of mine, with that "oooh I'd watch that again and again" factor). I also wanted to see it because so many people said it was a) funny b) moving.

Now forgive the cynic in me, but sequels are a hard thing to pull off. Shrek has never matched its first film, and even when the second film is better than the first (hello Spiderman), the third somehow messes things up.

Having some idea of the plot gleaned from thr Trailer (Andy is off to College, Toys get donated to a seemingly idyllic daycare centre, but it all goes wrong, and they find out Andy wants them back and set off on a journey to do so.

This is essentially the plot, but it is SO much more complicated than that, with loyalties divided and twists and turns everywhere. The ending which I feared would be too mawkish was in fact incredibly moving, (and in a well-deserved dent to my pride, not exactly what I predicted it would be).

The animation is almost taken for granted, but is obviously top notch, the attention to detail is incredible and the range of new characters introduced is incredible. The script is hilarious, the visual gags keep coming, and there are one or two things that I think would genuinely scare a small child.

But more than anything else, this is an absolutely fantastic story. That is why we go to the cinema essentially, isn't it? To be told an exciting story. Yes it's 3D, isn't it wonderful, it's beautiful, but a film can be beautiful and have some good jokes, but if there isn't a story to tell, ultimately it will be unfulfulling (Hello Shrek the Third).

TS3 kept me on the edge of my seat. kept me laughing, crying and smiling, and I was told a wonderful story as well. I recommend you go and see it immediately if you haven't already done so.

This 'mini-post' has somewhat grown. I guess I have a lot to learn from the geniuses at Pixar about keeping things the right length! I'll blog again a bit later. Toodle pip.

Funding our culture

I have been enjoying the annual 6 week holiday that my profession allows (well 5 and a half including considerable preparation time), but I digress into defending my holidays which is not my intention. During my holiday I have taken time to visit a number of places of interest, in my home town, in the countryside surrounding it and in London. Today I visited London for the third time in my holiday and was left pondering the topic of funding our cultural heritage.

I was mainly considering two alternative means of fundraising, both of which have led to the establishment or restoration of some wonderful attractions, but one of them sits with some unease in my conscience.

1. National Trust - a wonderful organisation which I ashamedly say I have been a member of for one year of my adult life, about 4 years ago. I will buy membership soon. Today I visited Sutton House in Hackney, and although I paid the very small fee of £2.90, I realise I should be helping to fund the wonderful work this organisation does.

It is not only what they do, it is sometimes what they prevent. A few years ago, when building the Brighton bypass, they reached Southwick Hill and proposed to cut through the middle of this fine example of nature, but the NT stood up and said "NO" and they had to tunnel. I could go on...

2. Heritage Lottery Fund. I am a long time hater of the National Lottery. It exists outside my consciousness for the most part, except for that brief reminder of the number from all 23 draws that evening just before the start of Match of the Day. A friend of mine once (rather unkindly but not entirely without accuracy) said the lottery was "a tax on the stupid." I prefer to say it is largely a tax on the poor. I do not wish to associate poverty with stupidity, far from it, which is why I tend to distance myself from the former comment.

Perhaps Jarvis Cocker sums it up best (perhaps leaning slightly to my friend's point of view):

Check your lucky numbers.
That much money could drag you under.
Oh, what's the point of being rich?
If you can't think what to do with it?
'Cos your so bleedin' thick?

(Pulp, Mis-shapes, from the album 'Different Class')

Anyway, my hatred of the lottery aside, I must confess before I go on that I did once buy a lottery ticket using the numbers I found on a slip of paper inside a 'bath bomb'. Random, and shameful. I matched no numbers.

I most detest the lottery because it takes from the poor, sells them an impossible dream and lines the pockets of fatcats. And quite often, large amounts of money in the hands of people not counselled in handling it, ruins lives, divides families and arouses envy, jealousy and resentment.

Having said that, the Heritage Lottery Fund has funded many projects I hold personally dear, including the building of a caving complex in our local Scout camp site, and many local and national museums and buildings. In this way, people are paying to help many positive projects off the ground, and society is benefitting.

But does this benefit outweigh the negatives? The fatcats take a large chunk, and those they fool are always left disappointed, either by not winning, or by the lack of satisfaction that winning ultimately provides. It is a tricky question that I haven't completely resolved in my own mind yet. There must be a better way.

Luke 12 v 16-21

I have been enjoying the wonders of half term this week, and have been preparing for school, and the other day I had to sort a BIG PILE of paper which had gradually accumulated in a variety of places. So I sought some entertainment during this time, and so watched Deal or No Deal, a good natured study of the effects of greed on everyday people.

When that finished, I sought alternative entertainment and came across a programme called 'DIVIDED' on ITV presented by former Tennis star Andrew Castle. The premise seemed simple enough, 3 strangers work together to answer simple questions that get progressively harder.

Let me explain the contestants.

1) Youngish woman, quite ambitious but intelligent too.

2) Middle aged woman, a little bit non-commital, not too sure, happy to follow others.

3) Middle aged man. Very annoying, shouts over people and always 'knows the answer'.

I will refer to them by number from now on.

The rules were: Each round had a set amount and they had 100m seconds to agree on an answer, during which time the amount they won trickled slowly down. If they answered wrongly, their amount was halved. 3 wrong answers=game over.

After each round they had to agree unanimously whether to carry on or 'bank' (Anne Robinson's lawyers be alerted) what they had won. After round three, annoying bloke 3) wanted out, but the other two, having only lost one life, wanted to carry on. He was furious about carrying on, but slightly less annoyed when they cleared round 4 and 5 and ended up with winnings of £115,000 to be shared equally.

Or so I thought.

No, the clever twist to this game was that they assigned 3 vastly differing amounts of money and each had to agree what they each would take.
I think the money was roughly split £69,000, 34,000, 11,000 or something similar. Each person had 15 seconds to declare what they wanted and why they deserved it.

Unsurprisingly, they all wanted the largest figure. I say unsurprisingly, but I actually thought that annoying twit 3) might say 'well yes I wanted out at £48,000, so you take the most, but no he insisted he had been the best player and deserved the money.

So what followed was... you guessed it... 100 seconds to decide allocation of funds during which time the money they had so brilliantly earned was whittered down.

Such a display of greed, pride and human desperation I haven't seen for a long time. A full blown shouting match, with annoying bloke 3) eventually pleading. In the end, worthy winner 1) said 'I'll take the smallest amount as long as he (3) doesn't get the most.

However, by the time they had agreed this (over a minute it took them), the combined winnings had gone from £115,000 to about £28,000.

I would have said: Let's all keep in touch and write cheques to each other making sure we all get the same eventually' and quickly agreed whatever to keep the money high, but maybe this isn't allowed, or they are just plain dumb.

The whole thing deflated the whole point of the show, seeing all their hard work destroyed by their personal greed. It reminded me of this story Jesus told:

The land of a rich man produced plentifully and he thought to himself, 'What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?'

And he said, 'I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.'

But God said to him, 'Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?'

So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich towards God.

Job!

Today I was offered a permanent job in my current school starting in September! I am a very happy bunny!

Yuk!

Builder's Breakfast? Really?

Proof that the people of this country have absolutely no taste.